


The Kunoichi Way

by Vorpal_Quick_Blade



Category: Naruto
Genre: Anko and Ino are Bad Influences, Crack, Female Uzumaki Naruto, Naruko is so done, Naruko makes a Cult
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-25
Updated: 2018-02-25
Packaged: 2019-03-22 22:36:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13774050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vorpal_Quick_Blade/pseuds/Vorpal_Quick_Blade
Summary: The prophecy says that a student of Jiraiya would either save or destroy the world. It never says how. There is, however, a far wiser and more worrisome prediction to heed. ‘Hell hath no Fury as a Women Scorned’. Watch out world, Naruko’s pissed.AKA That time Sasuke made a dumb sexist comment he didn't actually mean and Naruko's fuse evaporated into thin air, leading to the creation of a creepy fighting style, multiple friendships, and a cult.Since APPARENTLY it isn't clear if I put this in the beginning note, I'm copying the first part of it here: This is not me making fun of feminism at all. Nor do I actually believe any gender stereotypes mentioned in the fic. So I don't want to see any comments about that. This is a crack fic, more of a joke then anything. It popped into my head and wouldn't leave me alone, so I decided that as crazy as it was I'd write it up.





	The Kunoichi Way

**Author's Note:**

> First of all, this is not me making fun of feminism at all. Nor do I actually believe any gender stereotypes mentioned in the fic. So I don't want to see any comments about that. This is a crack fic, more of a joke then anything. It popped into my head and wouldn't leave me alone, so I decided that as crazy as it was I'd write it up.
> 
> Second, don't take the first scene the wrong way, I have nothing against Sasuke, I actually like him, and I'm not bashing on him, but he's kinda an asshole. So is Kiba, at the beginning anyway, but since Sasuke's on her team he seemed more likely, since he's around Naruto consistently. Not to mention, he purposely antagonizes Naruto before he leaves, so I could see him saying something he doesn't strictly mean just to get a rise out of Naruto. Nor am I bashing on Sakura, Kakashi, the Sandaime or anyone else for that matter. I like the majority of the Naruto characters.
> 
> Third, I didn't originally plan for the cult/religion thing, I was thinking of random conversations Naruko could have while 'converting' female characters to her cause when I realized it started to sound cultish, and the idea was to humorous to pass up, then it started getting out of hand and I started second guessing myself which eventually lead to me showing this to my beta. She said that though it might need to be toned down if I made it longer that it's fine as is, so here it is. And yes, I'm aware this is probably full of plot holes, and I twisted a lot of the events in Naruto.
> 
> Finally, for this crack fic I just went with Naruko. Not out of any personal preference, simply for ease.

Naruko stares at Sasuke, righteous fury blazing through her, face contoured with her rage, " _Excuse_ **_me_ **?! What did you say?"

 

Sasuke smirks at her, "You heard me. You're never going to be Hokage. You're a _girl_ , they won't give the position to you. You're place is in the home, having and raising children. You can pretend to be a be a Shinobi until you're old enough to get married, but after that you're just fooling yourself."

 

Naruko gapes for a moment, then whirls to Kakashi, "Sensei! You're not really gonna just let him get away with saying something like that are you?! It's one thing for him to mock me, it's another to make fun of my dreams, but this is gender discrimination!"

 

Kakashi sighs tiredly, "Naruko, you know he doesn't mean it. He's just trying to get a rise out of you. And you're _letting_ him. Just ignore it."

 

Naruko glares, "It doesn't matter why he's saying it. It's **not** ok! At all!" Kakashi sighs again, then pointedly turns his attention back to his book. She stares incredulously for a minute then turns to a clearly confused Sakura, "You're with me right? I mean, I know you're his fan girl, but you agree with me, right?! This isn't ok Sakura!"

 

Sakura continues to look conflicted for a moment, her fan girl tendencies clearly waging with her pride as a Kunoichi, but any chance of support is shattered in an instant by Sasuke flashing her the fakest smile Naruko had ever seen. Immediately the fan girl in Sakura swoons, and agrees with Sasuke, "Don't be silly Naruko. Sasuke-kun is just messing with you. There's no reason to have such a fit over it."

 

Naruko's expression literally could not be more disbelieving. Sasuke flashes her a smug victorious smirk. With a furious snarl Naruko turns on her heel and starts marching away. Kakashi huffs, "Where do you think you're going? I haven't ended team training yet."

 

Naruko doesn't pause, "I don't care. I refuse to stay here and be harassed by Uchiha while my _sensei_ and _teammate_ do nothing about it."

 

She'd spat Kakashi and Sakura's titles with sarcastic venom, causing Kakashi to sigh a third time, then try to bait her into returning, "You sure you wanna leave? I was just about to teach you three an awesome jutsu."

 

"Don't care."

 

There was a moment of silence, and she could **feel** the shock rolling off the other three. Kakashi collects himself seconds later, "Absolutely sure? It's A-Ranked. Like the Yondaime's signature Rasengan."

 

She doesn't even hesitate for a millisecond, "Utterly. I'm done with you three's **bullshit**."

 

Another pause, this one definitely incredulous, before Sakura hesitantly spoke, barely loud enough for Naruko to hear, "Maybe you did go a bit too far this time Sasuke-kun."

* * *

 

Naruko burst into Hokage-jiji's office, throwing open the door hard enough for it to bounce off the wall. Jiji jerked his head up from doing paperwork in startled shock. She barely gave him the few seconds it took for him to compose himself, "I've been on team seven for the mandatory two months. I request a transfer on the grounds of Uchiha continuously harassing me, my sensei and teammate doing nothing about it, and Uchiha acting in a gender discriminatory manner today."

 

Jiji set his pen down, and motioned her to sit, which she did angrily, "Those are severe accusations against the sole member of a prestigious clan. And a team transfer it equally serious Naruko. They should not be done lightly."

 

Naruko growled, "I may not be the smartest graduate from my class, far from it, but I'm not **_stupid_ ** Jiji. I know what I'm doing."

 

Jiji sighed, "I never called or implied you were Naruko, but you've always been a bit rash, and you _do_ have a tendency to exaggerate things. Besides,  you haven't even gone on your first C-Rank with them yet. It's rather common for teammates to not get along until after their first C-Rank. Kakashi will probably request a C-Rank for you three soon, wait until then at least?"

 

Naruto glared at him, "Rash? _Exaggeration_? So you're saying it's _perfectly_ **_acceptable_** that he said, and I **quote** , 'You're never going to be Hokage, because you're a _girl_. You're place is in the home, having and raising children. You can pretend to be a be a Shinobi until you're old enough to get married, but after that you're just fooling yourself'? Are you just going to let him get away with such unacceptable behavior towards not only a comrade, but his _teammate_ , just because he's Uchiha?"

 

Jiji froze in shock, and from the shadows a distinctly feminine voice hissed, "He said what?!"

 

Naruko couldn't blame the ANBU, but she was more focused on Jiji. He rubbed his face in a tired manner, "Of course not. Uchiha or not, you're completely right, such behavior is unacceptable. He'll receive an official warning, but that's the best I can do unless he continues to act in such a manner. Though Kakashi should've stepped in before things got this bad. What actions did he take?"

 

She shook her head with a scowl, "None. He said that Uchiha didn't mean it, that he was only trying to get a rise out of me, and that I shouldn't let him. It doesn't matter why he said it, the point is that he _did_ . Not to mention, while this may be the first time he's brought my gender into his line of fire, this is far from the first time he's harassed me. Hatake **never** does anything about it, and Haruno is such an Uchiha fan girl that when I asked her to do something earlier, all Uchiha had to do was flash a fake smile, and she threw all her pride as a Kunoichi away just to get his approval."

 

Jiji sighs, "Naruko, much as I don't want you to be at odds with your team, as I said previously you haven't even gone on a C-Rank with them. It's entirely possible this behavior will stop once you have. " She bristles in fury, but Jiji quickly holds up his hand, "I'll tell you what. Kakashi has told me he believes you're team ready for one, but for some reason hasn't requested a C-Rank. So when your team comes in for a mission tomorrow I'll assign your team to one. Just see how that goes, and if you're still certain of this course of action when you return, I'll personally help you file the paperwork. Deal?"

 

Naruko scowled angrily at her feet for a minute, then tensely agreed, "Fine. I'll give them one more chance, but that's it."

 

Jiji sighs again, but nodded, "Alright. I suppose it's all I can reasonably ask."

 

Naruko was storming through the village angrily on her way home. She was so fucking **_done_ ** ! She'd had to attend those stupid Kunoichi classes, because they were mandatory to graduate. She was _constantly_ told how she was too tomboyish, how she needed to be more feminine. And now Uchiha says she shouldn't be a Shinobi, couldn't be Hokage, because of her gender?! Even worse, Hatake had refused to step in despite the fact he was _supposed_ to be their Jonin sensei, and part of that was easing tension between his students if things went too far. She'd officially given up hope, and lost what respect she'd had for Haruno as top Kunoichi of their year for her actions. Or rather, her lack of action.

 

She was halfway home when she passed Ino looking over make-up. For a minute it made her angrier, than an idea struck her, and she started grinning like a loon. In front of her the street emptied at an astonishing rate, as the only time anyone had seen that look on her face was when she was planning one of her massive pranks, the type that were notorious for almost filling Jiji's office with paperwork.

 

Plastering a sweet smile on, she turns back around and approaches Ino, "Ino-chan!" Ino turns to her, clearly startled, which was understandable. They weren't exactly friends in the academy, and they hadn't seen each other since they graduated. She doesn't give Ino more time to do anything but tilt her head in curiosity before she continues, "So listen, earlier this guy made a sexist comment to me, and I wanted your help with something." Ino looks furious immediately, briefly she wondered in Ino would've behaved like Haruno had she been there, but quickly dismisses the thought, "So like I said, he was being sexist, and at first I was pissed."

 

Ino nods, "Understandable. You aren't mad anymore though?'

 

Naruko smiles, "Oh I'm still mad, but he got me thinking. I've never worn makeup, or done my nails, or anything else girly like that, so can I _really_ **honestly** judge whether or not he was really being sexist?" Ino looks confused, but she continues on undeterred, "So, you're like, the only decent Kunoichi I know who does that stuff besides Sakura, but Sakura doesn't seem to be that great at it. So I was wondering if you'd give me a hand?'

 

Predictably, implying Ino was better than Haruno, and complementing her Kunoichi skills got her preening with pride. The shocking part was her enthusiasm, and response, "Oh, of course I will! My cousin gave me a make-up kit two years ago for my birthday, but the colors weren't _quite_ right for me. I've been thinking since I got them that they'd be _perfect_ for you though! And it's wise of you to come to me rather that billboard brow, she'd make you look atrocious. No, let master Ino show you the way to true beauty."

 

For a moment she wondered what she'd gotten herself into, but she was just angry enough not to care.

* * *

 

The next morning Uchiha and Haruno stare at her when she shows up, and Haruno leans over to Uchiha, "I think your comment might have broke her. Either that or she's trying to make some sort of point that I don't understand whatsoever."

 

Uchiha nods in silence, too dumbstruck to care that Haruno was in his personal space. Hell **Haruno** was to incredulous to even _realize_ how close to her _precious_ Uchiha she was. She couldn't blame them. Ino had given her a full makeover, then taught her how to get the look herself. It had sucked learning how to apply make-up, nail polish, do her hair, and all sorts of other things correctly. Much less learn how to do it all decently in a single night, but she was known for her stubbornness, and it'd be worth it.

 

The changes were rather drastic. Gone was her rough nails, orange jumpsuit (you shall be mourned dear friend), and her pigtails. Instead her nails were carefully filed to perfection by Ino, buffed, polished, and painted with equal care. The nail polish was the only orange she managed to convince Ino to let her have. Now she wore a gorgeous battle kimono. It was Ino's, but she'd outgrown it, not that she'd ever worn it anyway. So Ino had given it to her, along and a few other startlingly beautiful Kunoichi appropriate outfits that no longer fit her, but she hadn't yet gotten rid of. Her hair was now in a ponytail, similar to Ino's, though no matter how hard she'd tried it had still been a spiky mess. So instead Ino taught her how to make it stylishly spiky. To top it all off, she was wearing make-up. Unlike some woman it wasn't heavily done. It was actually mostly subtle, just something to make her lips a few shades darker, with some lightly done mascara and eyeliner. The most obvious thing about her makeup was the light smokey eyeshadow.

 

She ignored them, and Hatake when he showed up. Well, she didn't _completely_ ignore Hatake. She laughed at him when he stumbled back in shock and fell straight into the river under the bridge they met at after seeing her. She grinned mischievously at Jiji and Iruka behind her teammates' backs when they both had to do a double take. They both looked at her in fond, but weary bemusement. Rather than try to attack him as everyone predicted she would when the client insulted her, she just gave him her best overly sweet creepy smile. When he backed up a few steps, she was immediately grateful to Ino for making her learn it. She'd taught her a few other things, but it wasn't the time for those.

 

After getting ready, she waited at the gate for her 'team'. She hadn't spoken a word to any of them all day, nor did she speak when they showed up and headed out.

 

After half an hour of walking, two Shinobi burst from a puddle and killed 'sensei'. One of them rushed her, while the other headed for Uchiha. The one targeting her was closing in quickly, but she made no attempt to move.

 

Haruno yelling at her in desperation, "Don't just stand there! Move!"

 

Even Uchiha got distracted. None of them noticed her reach into her kunai pouch, nor did they notice her channel chakra. What they did notice was when she stabbed her enemy in the jugular. With a chakra strengthened eyeliner pencil. His brother froze in his attack against Uchiha as her stared in incredulous horror, thankfully for him Uchiha was equally distracted from the fight, and didn't take advantage of his lack of attention. Unlucky for him, she wasn't. Quickly channeling enough chakra for her eyeliner to stay as hard as a kunai long enough, she threw it right into his carotid artery.

 

There was a moment of stunned silence, then she moved forward to grab her eyeliner. Hatake appeared in front of her in a swirl of leaves. He frowned briefly, "Naruko, you probably shouldn't keep your makeup in your kunai pouch if you're going to accidentally grab it instead of a proper weapon. That said, are you alright? Those were your first kills."

 

Naruko stared him down blandly, "Actually, six assassination attempts on my life over the years for a certain reason you're aware of makes them my seventh and eighth kills. I'm fine." Then she pulled that creepy smile again, "And it wasn't an accident. After the Kunoichi classes at the academy, a random criticism about my tomboy tendencies at least once a week, and Uchiha's comment yesterday, I decided enough was enough. If everyone wants me to be girly, fine I'll **show** you girly."

 

There was heavy silence as she moved around Hatake, grabbed her eyeliner, and started moving. Then Hatake muttered, "I've been a Shinobi since I was six, twenty one years, and fought in the Third Shinobi World War, but despite everything I've seen the idea of getting stabbed to death by a preteen girl with _eyeliner_ is the single most terrifying thing I've ever encountered."

 

There was a pause, then Uchiha yelped in pain, "What the hell was that for, Kakashi-sensei?"

 

"Isn't it obvious? It's your fault Naruko has decided to invent the creepiest fighting style I've ever heard of."

 

With that, they caught up to her. Though they kept a subtle, but _definitely_ there distance from her. Uchiha seemed particularly weary. She wondered if he thought she was going to try to kill him. The look in his eyes suggested he was thinking something along that line.

* * *

 

Naruko walked out of the Hokage tower frowning. They'd completed their C turned A-Rank and returned. After giving their verbal reports the rest of her team dispersed, but Hokage-jiji asked her to stay behind. Once her team left Jiji asked her about her new fighting style, which Hatake had reported. So she cheerfully explained to him and Iruka, who was in the room helping with paperwork. The expressions on their faces when she explained told Naruto that they weren't sure if they wanted to laugh or be as creeped out by her new style as Hatake. She heard snickering from the shadows though, so she figured one of the ANBU was female and appreciated it. After that Jiji had somehow convinced her to stay on the team, mostly by using the fact Uchiha 'died' for her against her. She still wasn't ok with it.

 

Naruko was yanked from her thoughts as Ino grabbed her arm. Turning, she saw Ino giving her that same creepy smile she'd taught her, as she sweetly said, "Ne, Naruko, wanna tell me why Sakura just stopped by my family's flower shop, and told me about what she called 'the creepiest fighting style ever'?"

 

Naruko glanced around, and upon seeing multiple Shinobi giving them curious looks, she started pulling Ino along, "Sure, but not here. Let's go to the Hokage monument."

 

After reaching the top of the mountain, Naruko led Ino to the fourth's head, then jumped down and landed amongst the stone spikes that made up his hair. Ino glanced at her nervously, "We're not supposed to be here. We'll get in a lot of trouble if we're found."

 

Naruko sat down, "Nah, Hokage-jiji knows I come here often, he has a standing order to ANBU, who are the only people who patrol the top of the monument, to leave me alone if they find me here."

 

Ino blinked then hesitantly sat next to her, "Oh. Well anyway, what's this about using eyeliner as a weapon?"

 

Naruko gave an aggravated sigh, "I'm sorry for not telling you yesterday, but I didn't know if you'd agree to help me. You know how I said a guy made a sexist comment to me?" Ino nodded, "Well, it was Uchiha."

 

Ino shook her head rapidly, "No way! Sasuke-kun wouldn't-"

 

Naruko cut her off with a glare, "He said, and I quote, 'You're never going to be Hokage, because you're a _girl_. You're place is in the home, having and raising children. You can pretend to be a be a Shinobi until you're old enough to get married, but after that you're just fooling yourself'. On top of that, Hatake and Haruno didn't do a damn thing about it. Haruno almost agreed with me, but Uchiha flashed her the fakest smile I ever saw for a millisecond and she threw away her pride for his approval. I didn't tell you yesterday, because I wasn't sure if you'd act like Haruno."

 

Ino punched her in the arm with a glare, "First, don't compare me to that horrible excuse of a Kunoichi. Second, I'd never throw away my pride as a Kunoichi, not even for Uchiha. Third, it's tough to swallow, but I believe you. I don't think you would come up with such a disgusting thing just to make someone believe a lie. Now tell me what you're planning."

 

Naruko gaped, then narrowed her eyes in suspicion at the final demand, "Why?"

 

Ino grinned in a creepy almost bloodthirsty manner, "Why? So I can help you of course, and join you in your endeavor."

 

Naruko blinked rapidly, then grinned evilly, "Why my dear Ino, I think this may be the start of a _glorious_ friendship."

* * *

 

A week later Ino and Naruko were heading to get some lunch when they heard something that made them both furious beyond belief. Before Naruko's change it would've simply angered them, but they'd become much more sensitive since then, so when they heard, "Get out of here you filthy snake slut, and don't come back." it infuriated them.

 

With a shared glance, they marched over toward the source of the voice to find a purple haired woman leaving a shop with pursed lips, and resigned rage in her eyes. Naruko glared at the woman, "We heard someone get called a 'filthy snake slut'. Was that you?"

 

The woman had glared right back, then at Naruko's question her expression shifted to angry suspicion, "Ya, what's it to you brat?"

 

Naruko's glare increased, "Don't just take that! You're a woman! A **_Kunoichi_ **! Start acting like it and stand up for yourself!"

 

Now the woman's expression was incredulous shock, Ino ignored her as she stormed past, they both heard the owner begin to merrily greet her before Ino started chewing him out.

 

After leaving Ino to it for a few minutes Naruko grabbed the still incredulous woman's arm and dragged her back in. Ino stopped to allow Naruko to speak. Naruko pushed the purple haired woman forward, "Well? Go on. Don't let the bastard walk all over you, give him a piece of your mind!"

 

The woman hesitated glancing between Ino, Naruko, and the shop owner, then straightened, "You- You can't talk to me like that. Degrading my gender like that is unacceptable." She'd spoken hesitantly, but with a glance at the two girl's encouraging expressions, picked up steam and continued angrily, "You asshole! Holding my past against me, refusing me service, and even when you _do_ let me buy clothes, they're outrageously priced! And you degrade me the entire time! Just who the hell do you think you are, treating me like that?! I'm one of Konoha's Tokubetsu jōnin! I'm the second in command in the T &I department! I'm one of the main people who keep you safe, who stops wars from starting! And you have the gall to treat me in such a manner?!"

 

Naruko nodded fiercely, "Shame on you, you pig in human's clothing! This nice woman goes to work everyday to protect you and the rest of the village, and this is how you repay her?!"

 

The man cowered away from the angry women, stuttering apologies. A woman stepped out of the back and gave him a furious look, causing him to shrink back further, then turned back to them and smiled then bowed in apology, "Ignore my husband, he's a fool. Please Kunoichi-san do your shopping, and accept a seventy percent off discount today for the hassle my foolish husband has given you in the past. Also, please know that you're welcome back anytime, and if my husband starts giving you trouble again just call for me. My name's Aimi by the way."

 

Naruko shook her head, "Don't apologize for him. You didn't make him that way. Now, go get your shopping done miss, I don't think you'll be getting any trouble from this man again."

 

Ino hummed, "Actually, shopping isn't a bad idea, you need some more clothes Naruko."

 

Naruko gave her a bemused look, "I suppose, though I hope you realize the discount was only for miss T&I?"

 

Ino nodded, but before she could say anything, the man straightened a bit, "Naruko? Did you say Naruko? As in Uzumaki Naruko? You-"

 

The woman glared at her husband, "You will me quiet Hibiki. You've caused more than enough trouble." Then she turned back to them and smiled again, "Please, feel free to shop to your heart's content. While I can't afford to give you seventy percent off, I will give you fifteen for the trouble that was caused."

 

Naruko shook her head, "Oh, that's not necessary Aimi-san-"

 

Ino grabbed her, "Oh shush you. Don't be rude and turn down her generosity."

 

After a solid hour of shopping, Ino and Naruko left, only to be shocked at finding the purple haired woman waiting outside. Upon seeing them, the woman nervously played with her fingers for a moment, then straightened her shoulders, and walked up to them, "I would like to speak to the two of you."

 

Naruko and Ino shared a glance, then Ino raised an eyebrow at the woman, "What about?"

 

The woman hesitated a moment, then plowed on, "Why'd you do that? Why'd you stick up for me? Neither of you know me. You really shouldn't have. I've a bad reputation, and people will start associating you with me because of you two's little stunt. Your reputation will do down the drain."

 

Naruko snorted, "I've no reputation to begin with, and Ino-chan is the Yamanaka heir. Your reputation doesn't matter. As for why we helped... Ino and I may not have been Kunoichi long, but we're sick and tired of the gender discrimination. It may not have been the main point of your disagreement with that man, but Ino and I weren't about to walk by and do nothing after what he called you."

 

The woman tilted her head, "There's more to it isn't there?"

 

Ino nodded, "Yes, but it's a semi long story, we're hungry, and I'd rather not carry these bags around for an extended period of time. Even if they're not heavy. Well, not heavy by Shinobi standards anyway. We'd be more than happy to tell you later, if you'd like to meet us for lunch, but we were gonna go home to drop these bags off."

 

The woman hummed, then rummaged through the pockets of her trench coat for a moment. With a triumphant 'Aha!' she pulled out two scrolls, and offered them to the girls, "How about I just give you these spare storage scrolls as thanks for your assistance, and we go get lunch now. I'd really like to hear what you two have to say."

 

Naruko looked shocked, "But storage scrolls are expensive!"

 

The woman brushed it off, "You guys were quite a lot of help back there. Besides, I saved a bunch of money because of you guys. That nice woman gave me seventy percent off the _regular_ price, not what I usually pay. So I actually saved more than triple what she offered."

 

Ino glanced at Naruko, then nodded as they accepted their scrolls and began sealing their purchases away, "It was no problem. I'm Yamanaka Ino, and this is Uzumaki Naruko."

 

The woman froze momentarily, then replied hesitantly, "Anko. Mitarashi Anko."

 

Ino nodded, "I thought as much when you said you were the second in command in the T&I department. My dad's mentioned you and Ibiki a couple times. He says your really good at your job. Anyway, are you ok with ramen? Naruko _loves_ ramen, and it's her turn today."

 

Anko nodded, "Sure I'm cool with that. You guys take turns on where you go?"

 

Ino nodded, "Ya, if we didn't Naruko would drag me to ramen all the time. So we agreed that every other time we met up to eat, I get to pick somewhere else to go."

* * *

 

"-So then Ino decided to join me in my little quest." Naruko finished happily between bowls.

 

Anko laughed, "You're the brats that creeped Kakashi and Asuma out? I like you even more."

 

Ino nodded, "So what about you Anko-san? What was with that asshole shopkeeper?"

 

Anko hesitated then told them her story, finishing with, "-I woke up on the beach a month later, with no recollection past leaving with Orochimaru. The ANBU found me the next down while I was on my way back to Konoha. I was questioned by T&I, but they came to the conclusion that I truly didn't know that Orochimaru was a traitor. So the Hokage allowed me to go back to work. The villagers didn't believe it though, they thought I was in league with Orochimaru. My fellow Shinobi didn't believe me either. They couldn't understand how I didn't notice Orochimaru's treachery, even though none of them noticed either."

 

Naruko slammed her hands on the table, "That's bullshit! If you were working with Orochimaru why would you come back? To be a spy? Even if that was the case, I'd think Hokage-jiji and T&I would've figured it out. They're just being stupid jackasses!”

 

Anko smiled at that, "Just like their treatment of you."

 

Naruko bristled, "Ya. They're blind idiots."

 

Ino nodded in agreement, then Anko grinned at them, "You guys should turn it into a religion or a cult it something."

 

Ino and Naruko stared at her in shock, then Naruko tilted her head, "Ehh? Why? What good would that do us?"

 

Anko shrugged, "Well, maybe not a cult, but if you made it a religion you'd be taken more seriously. If you recruited people to said religion I'd lead to more women, more _Kunoichi_ putting their foot down, and saying 'enough of this bullshit'. You know?"

 

Naruko shook her head, "You can't be serious. No one would join a religion or cult like that."

 

Anko grinned, "I would."

 

Then before Naruko could reply a thoughtful Ino spoke up, "We'd need a name."

 

Naruko gaped at Ino now, "Ino you can't be serious?!"

 

Ino smiled at her in bemusement, "I'm completely serious actually."

 

Anko shook her head, "How about... The Sisterhood of the Tree? It references both its origins and that it was created for women."

 

Ino nodded, then Ayame, who until that point had simply been listening, piped up, "I'd join it too, as long as Naruko-chan was in charge. It's about woman standing up for themselves right?" Ino nodded, "Well, to civilian women, at least in Konoha, mothers are the strongest kind of females. You know, since they've gone through birth and all? So if Naruko's in charge, you should call her mother instead of sister."

 

Ino laughed lightly, "Mother Naruko, with a capital M."

 

Anko laughed with her, "I like it. Though, it'll be tough to get a good base following. After that it should start becoming easier, but until then, we'll just need to start talking to the other Kunoichi."

 

Naruko thumped her head on the counter with a groan, "You guys are really gonna do through with this, aren't you?"

 

Anko, Ino, and even Ayame glanced at each other, then simultaneously said, "Yup."

 

Naruko sighed, "Alright. I'm in." Then she paused and lifted her head with a grin, "And I've got a great idea to get a base following quickly. They've even proven themselves to be fanatic, once they grab onto something. First though, I need Ino to get me a video camera, and Anko to follow me to training for a few days."

 

Ino and Anko glanced at each other, then grinned at her, "Anything you require, Mother Naruko."

 

Naruko rolled her eyes at the two.

* * *

 

It had taken longer than they anticipated to get enough footage, but a month later Ino led them to their destination. Walking into the hideout, Naruko and Anko looked horrified, and Ino embarrassed. They were currently in the main hideout of the Uchiha Sasuke fan club. The walls were covered in pictures of him, and there were plushies of him all over the place.

 

Ino led them to a massive room with a raised platform on one end, and went to the platform. Then Ino put the disc with the video in a dvd player. Once Naruko and Anko had joined her, she rang a large bell, which was the only thing on the platform. Within twenty minutes the hall was nearly packed with Uchiha fangirls.

 

With a glance at her companions, Ino stepped forward and cleared her throat, "I have an important announcement to make." Immediately silence descended on the hall, and Ino continued, "I, Yamanaka Ino, am stepping down from my position as head of the Uchiha Sasuke fan club, and in fact, am leaving the fan club completely." There was a loud uproar at her announcement, most it was girls wanting to know if Ino had given up on their precious Uchiha. Ino held up her hand for silence, once she had it she explained, "I would like you to turn your attention to the t.v. we pitched together for. I have a series of clips that will explain my decision, and hopefully show you girls the light."

 

There were confused mutters as Ino turned the massive t.v. on, and started the footage. It was all clips Anko had captured in the past month when she didn't have work. The first 40ish clips showed how Uchiha acted towards women, Naruko in particular, the next 50ish showed other men in Konoha displaying the same behavior and almost always get told off for it, for being an asshole, for being sexist, for being arrogant. The final section of the footage had certain clips from the 90ish picked out. They were all of Uchiha and random men doing almost the **exact** same thing, with Uchiha getting away with it while the men got snapped at. The clips were shown side by side so that the contrast was overly obvious.

 

When it was finished, Ino turned the t.v. off then gestured at the black screen, "As you can see, though Uchiha was never precisely nice in the academy, he has shown himself to be, bluntly, an asshole. As such, yes, I will no longer pursue him. I won't put up with him being a jackass any longer, and I hope at least some of you have the sense to do the same. If, however, you still feel for him, then that is all I had to say to you. If not, we have more for you to hear."

 

There was muttering between the girls for a few minutes, then one called out, "Well, **_I'm_ ** not gonna waste anymore time with that jerk!"

 

There was quite a few agreements, though there were a handful of fanatics that continued to defend Uchiha. Within a few moments, those still loyal to Uchiha left, and the remaining girls quieted down returning their attention to Ino. However, she stepped back and looked at Naruko, who cleared her throat as she stepped forward, "My fellow women. As you saw in that video Uchiha isn't the only man who behaves in such a despicable manner. There are, in fact, far too many men who treat us females in such a way. Especially if you are a Kunoichi." There were angry mutters of agreement, but Naruko gestured for quiet, "I say enough. Enough of this discrimination! Enough of this ridicule that we aren't really Shinobi! Enough being told that we belong in the kitchen, that our only job is to birth and raise children! Enough! I won't stand for it anymore, and I hope you won't either!" There were cries of agreement, "My sisters, we must make a stand, or it will never change! We must show them that they can't push us around!"

 

The roar of agreement was nearly deafening, and Naruko shared a vicious victorious grin with Into and Anko.

* * *

 

Naruko was at team seven training grounds, listening to another one of Hatake's rants on teamwork. He'd gotten even pushier about it since the indecent between her and the rest of them. She grinned when she saw Yumi approaching with a handful of other girls, just as they planned. Hatake cut off when they stopped five feet away, then Yumi broke off and walked up to Uchiha, "Uchiha Sasuke, I am Yumi from your fan club, or rather _former_ fan club. It was decided by general agreement that you should be informed that 98 percent of your former fan club now despises your despicable existence. While you probably do not care, as you are an asshole, we felt that you should be informed. Also, I feel I should inform you that any former member of your fan club is likely to slap you should you ever get close to them."

 

Uchiha blinked rapidly, "Wait what? Why? I didn't do anything to any of you, why would you try to hit me?"

 

Yumi scowls heavily at him, "You know what you did, you filthy heathen. Great Mother Naruko has shown us your true colors. She has shown us the light and we follow her and her infinite wisdom now. I would say good day, but I honestly hope you step on a thousand Legos and stab yourself with a kunai."

 

With that she turned around and walked back to the other girls, who glared at Uchiha then walked off with her. The other three turned to a serene looking Naruko. Hatake breathed in awe, "How'd you **_do_ ** that? I thought it was impossible to get rid of fan girls?"

 

Naruko simply smiled, "As Sister Yumi said, I merely showed the Uchiha's true colors. And before you say he acts the same as he did in the academy, Haruno, he doesn't. He's even more of an asshole. Plus they didn't compare his attitude to other males for some reason. I merely gave them... perspective. Truth."

 

Uchiha opened and closed his mouth a few times, then whispered in horror, "What have you done?"

 

Hatake stared at him in shock, "Aren't you happy you no longer have a fan club?"

 

Uchiha shook his head, "I **_would_ ** be if she had simply turned them away from me, instead of **against** me. Do you know how much they'll hassle me now? I'll never get a moment of peace."

 

Realization dawned on Hatake and Haruno, causing them to stare at Naruko before Hatake muttered, "You... are..... **_Evil_ **."

 

She smiled serenely, "Heathen. I'm the Great Mother, you should **never** accuse me of such, or Uchiha's former fan club, now the basis of my Sisterhood of the Tree will... _re-educate_ you."

 

Hatake looked confused, "Sisterhood of the Tree? Don't you think you're taking this too far? I mean, I know Sasuke pissed you off, but this is a bit much."

 

Naruko nodded, "My Sisters and I are dedicated to enlightening women about the blight on this world that is disrespectful men, and finding ways to deal with the plague that you and Uchiha are part of. And don't flatter the Uchiha, he's undeserving of it, and besides, this is about far more than just him. This is about men in general. We of the Sisterhood are tired of your bullshit. You people seem to think that just because you _have_ a dick, you have the right to _be_ a dick. My Sisters and I will not put up with it any longer, and we seek to enlighten our fellow women that they don't have to as well."

 

Haruno gasped, "You- You're a _genius_. That's why you recruited Sasuke-kun's fan club. You already knew they would be fanatic, you just need to get them to agree with your cults views!"

 

Naruko frowned, "It is not a cult. You should not speak such blasphemy, it's not too late for you Sakura. You can still join us, but not if you keep saying such things. Come on, repent. Repent your sins and join us."

 

Sakura backed away slowly, and Naruko advanced. Then Sakura turned and ran, screaming her head off about mind controlling cults. Naruko watched her go with a serene smile, "Well that was an overreaction."

 

Hatake frowned at her, "You did that on purpose. You're trying to make her seem crazy, or get back at her for agreeing with Sasuke, or something."

 

Naruko's grin became sharp, "Hold your tongue Hatake. I am the Great Mother, and throwing such baseless accusations at me is blasphemy. The Sisterhood does not take kindly to it."

* * *

 

Naruko smiled as she followed Konohamaru and his friends. Konohamaru and Udon may be boys, but the general consensus amongst the Sisterhood was that children were exempt from their usual rules against men. After all, they were still impressionable, they could still be properly educated in the ways of the world. I'm fact, though it had taken a bit to convince them, and eventually led to Naruko walking them around Konoha pointing out the flaws of men, the Sisterhood has found its first male converts in Konohamaru and Udon.

 

She was yanked from her thoughts and speed up when she heard Konohamaru shout. Rounding the corner, she came across two suna Shinobi. A male, and a female. The male was holding Konohamaru up by his collar. Angrily, she yanked senbon, Anko had finally convinced her that they were feminine enough, and threw them at his hand.

 

He let go with a shout of pain when they pierced their target, "What the hell do you think you're doing bitch!"

 

Before Naruko could answer, Konohamaru viciously kicked the suna male in the shin, "Don't call the Great Mother names, heathen! Such blasphemy isn't tolerated!"

 

The two nin gaped at Konohamaru, so Naruko took the opportunity to calmly scold the male, "If I were you, I would not attempt to hurt the honorable grandson again. Honestly, you act like it's normal to punish children for playing."

 

The two paled at Konohamaru's title, then the male glared, "If they're not watching where they're going they deserve it. Someone needs to teach brats respect."

 

Naruko nodded, "Yes, someone does. Namely their parents. Not you."

 

The male opened his mouth to reply, but shut it quickly as a whirlwind of sand appeared a few feet in front of him. He scrambled back as he and the Kunoichi became deathly afraid.

 

A moment later the sand disappeared to reveal a short red headed male, who immediately glared at the other male, "Kankuro. Just what do you think you're doing?"

 

The male, Kankuro, stuttered, "G-Gaara! I- I was just-"

 

Gaara glared harder, "Shut up. We're leaving."

 

Kankuro nodded rapidly and the Kunoichi huffed, "Well if you wouldn't pick fights with _children_ -"

 

Kankuro glared, "Oh shut up bitch, you-"

 

Abruptly three more senbon nailed him in the shoulder, "You cunt! Fucking-"

 

A dodge on the part of the male as Naruko glared at him, "We of the Sisterhood do not tolerate verbal abuse towards females. You will hold your tongue or I will _remove_ it." She gave one final glare at Kankuro then turned towards the female, "Why do you put up with this, miss..."

 

The girl shook herself from her shock, "Temari. It's not like I really have a choice do I? Most guys, especially Shinobi, are like that. I thought that's how it was everywhere, but apparently you girls in Konoha are spared such treatment."

 

Naruko raised an eyebrow, "You mean getting spoken to like that? Being told our place is in the home doing chores all day every day for pretty much the rest of our lives?" Temari nodded in shock, "Oh no, we get that here to. It's just that the Sisterhood of the Tree was created to put a stop to such things. We're done with being treated like all we are is reproductive systems that can cook and clean." A look of longing came over Temari's face, so Naruko smiled gently, "You could join us."

 

Temari glanced at the boys, in hesitation, and Kankuro spit out, "Don't you fucking dare. You can't just abandon the plan for some crazy bullshit."

 

Temari glared, "You're saying wanting to be treated like we're actually _humans_ is crazy? You know what? Fuck you, and your contestant degradation of everyone around you. Fuck the Kazekage, and his insanity. And **_fuck_ ** the plan that was created by a council comprised entirely of _men_. I'm leaving!"

 

Naruko extended a hand to Temari, "Come child, claim your place amongst your Sisters, let Mother Naruko teach you the way to enlightenment."

 

Temari walked over in determination and took her hand, "Thank you, Mother Naruko. Lead the way."

 

And with that, the two of them with the the children walked off. Temari didn't look back once.

* * *

 

Naruko was talking to team Gai, including Gai himself, after the first portion of the exams. Apparently Tenten had a recruiter approach her, but had been unsure having gotten the vague impression it was a cult, but willing to hear more since the recruiter was firm that it wasn't. So the recruiter had told her of Naruko. She'd been unable to get a hold of her before the exam, then Lee had challenged Uchiha, so there had been no time then. So Naruko spent an hour and a half explaining the basics of the Sisterhood, their beliefs, and their rules.

 

When she finished Gai gave her a blinding grin, "I will admit, when that young lady first approached our youthful Tenten, I was worried you people were a cult, but now that you have explained, I see that it is merely a most youthful movement! It's a shame you do not allow males to join. As I would definitely do so!"

 

Lee jumped up and shouted, "Yes! I as well would join this youthful endeavor if I could!"

 

Naruko shook her head, "We cannot have equality if we treat males as though they are beneath us. The only males we treat poorly are the ones who treat us as such. Perhaps it is wrong to fight fire with fire, but we're only giving them a taste of their own medicine. The point is, males _can_ join, despite it being called a Sisterhood. They just have other rules to adhere to, though they mostly pertain to treating women respectfully. If you'd like, I have a copy of the rules for male members. Which reminds me, you don't have to read it all at once, but here Tenten. This is the Book of the Tree. It's basically a full explanation of what being in the Sisterhood means. Please read it before truly deciding whether or not you'll join. If you don't want to, just contact the original Sister that told you about us. She'll come to collect the book and put your name on the list of people who don't wish to join."

 

Tenten leaned forward to accept the slightly thicker than average book, then tilted her head in question, "You guys have a list? Do so many women reject your beliefs?"

 

Naruko smiled, " _Technically_ we have a list. It's actually blank at the moment. I don't know if it's just that women are tired of disrespectful men, or if it's just because the Sisterhood is only a few months old, but no one's rejected us so far. The list was made to respect those who do not wish to join. If you're on the list we won't bother you again, if someone approaches you, it's because they didn't know you're on the list. Merely tell them and they'll leave you alone."

 

Tenten nodded in understanding. Neji snorted, "This is all ridiculous. You people are fated to fail. Those who are treated poorly, shall _always_ be treated poorly. It is their fate."

 

Naruko raised an eyebrow, "Are you telling me you're clairvoyant?"

 

Neji frowned, "No, but I do not need-"

 

Naruko cut him off sharply, "Then you don't know that we're fated to fail. I don't believe in fate, but even if it's real, it's possible that we're fated to _succeed_. Social revolutions happen, Hyuuga-san. Just a hundred and fifty years ago it was taboo for women to be Shinobi. Now there's one on nearly every team, yours included. Perhaps this is the next social revolution. For us women to fully shake this notion of where we belong."

 

Neji stared at her thoughtfully for a few minutes, then slowly asked, "May I have one of those copies for males? I'd like to read it. Perhaps I can learn a thing or two from you noble women."

 

Naruko smiled and handed the three men of team Guy the male version of Tenten's book.

* * *

 

Naruko finished explaining about love and strength to the defeated Gaara. He was silently thoughtful for a few minutes, then turned his head to look at her, "Can I join you and Temari in the Sisterhood?"

 

Naruko smiled, but before she could reply Temari's familiar voice spoke up, "Actually, I'm afraid I'm leaving the Sisterhood, and we're leaving Konoha."

 

Naruko frowned sadly, "Really? That's a shame. May I ask why?"

 

Temari shrugged, "Baki-sensei just received word that the Kazekage's body was found. He's been dead at least five months. So we came to an agreement. Baki, Kankuro, and Gaara won't speak of my temporary desertion, therefore getting me labeled a Nukenin, and in return I go back with them. Being the eldest child of the late Kazekage, the people's moral will be higher if I'm with them, whereas being labeled a Nukenin would lower moral."

 

Naruko smiled, "I see. It's a shame to see you leave Konoha Temari, but you needn't leave the Sisterhood."

 

Temari looked shocked, then hopeful, "I don't? I didn't want to leave my Sisters, but I thought- I mean, it's the Sisterhood of the **Tree** , so I thought..."

 

Naruko laughed, "A name to symbolize the Sisterhood's origin. Nothing more. It was always our intention to expand to all of the countries. Actually, if you don't mind, this could be an opportunity for the Sisterhood. We thought it would be a while yet until we reached other nations. If you're up for it though, you could spread the our words to Suna and Kaze no Kuni. I know you're not really a people person, but if you find women with people skills first, you could ask them to look for others for you.... I know! We could call you The Wind Mother! We could appoint 'Mothers' in the other countries to speak in my stead! What do you say Temari? Would you be our Wind Mother?"

 

Temari became misty eyed, "I'd be honored to be the Wind Mother. I will spread your word faithfully, Great Mother."

 

Naruko grinned, "Great! Here." She paused to pull out two sealing scrolls, then handed them to Temari, "After we got a large enough group of followers, we pooled our money to buy sealing scrolls for our recruiters. One of them has copies of the female version of the Book of the Tree, and the other has copies the male version. Give Gaara one when you get home."

 

Temari accepted the scrolls, "You can count on me Great Mother. I will not fail the trust you've bestowed upon me."

* * *

 

Itachi was about to cast Tsukuyomi on Sasuke when Jiraiya appeared with the woman he put under Genjutsu.

 

Before anyone could say anything, Naruko tensely asked, "Ero-Ikyōto. What happened to that girl?"

 

Jiraiya stiffened, "Ahh, they put her under Genjutsu to lure me away. That's why she was flirting so heavily with me."

 

Killing intent more potent than the Kyuubi's burst from her as she whirled on the two Akatsuki, "You heathen bastards! The Sisterhood and I will not tolerate such blasphemy!"

 

With that, she started ruthlessly attacking them. Itachi was forced to put her under Tsukuyomi after she nearly killed Kisame and actually managed to break three of his ribs. To Itachi's horror, the Tsukuyomi didn't put her in a coma, it just slowed her down. He quickly beat a hasty retreat.

 

Jiraiya began to start worrying about the fact she often called him a 'blasphemous heathen'. Sasuke started to think that there just might be something to the 'Sisterhood of the Tree' after all.

* * *

 

Naruko tilted her head at the women that was accompanying the traitorous Kabuto. She glanced at the pervert heathen, "Who's this woman?"

 

Jiraiya laughed loudly, "That's not a girl, that's Orochimaru."

 

Naruko froze, then slowly turned to Orochimaru, "Why do you look so different then your picture?"

 

Orochimaru gave a mocking smirk, "It has to do with my immortality jutsu. I take over the bodies of others, thus preserving my soul eternally."

 

Naruko began to shake with rage, "You took over that poor woman's body. This- This is.... **This is** **_blasphemy_ ** **of the highest degree** ! I'll kill you for such trespass. Probably not today, or even next year, but I _will_ kill you!"

 

With that Jiraiya ended up fighting Kabuto, as Naruko, in her righteous fury, began brutally attacking Orochimaru. In her fury, she didn't even seem to notice that she used a perfect Rasengan four times. Orochimaru dodged like it was raining kunai, but he still nearly got killed twice. He and Kabuto beat a hasty retreat.

 

Tsunade gave her the necklace, agreed to become Hokage, and she and Shizune joined the Sisterhood before they returned to Konoha. Jiraiya quickly resolved to find a way to still research but not have it considered blasphemy. Especially when he heard then discussing the idea of having their own version of the bingo book listing the absolute _worst_ cases of blasphemy, with the culprits listed of course. Orochimaru and Itachi were immediately added with Itachi's and Orochimaru's separate crimes being S-Rank.

* * *

 

Sasuke contemplated going with sound four to Orochimaru, then discarded the idea almost immediately. While it was true Orochimaru could probably make him strong enough to defeat Itachi, it was even more likely he'd die before he got his revenge. He was already on Naruko, and therefore her Sisterhood's shit list, he was lucky they hadn't added him to their bingo book of heathens, but he would definitely be added if he went to one of their number one bingo entries for power. It would ruin what tiny bit a favor he'd managed to win be wanting to kill their number two entry. It wasn't something he was willing to risk. Especially since the Sisterhood had begun pulling their growing resources to help him become strong enough to defeat Itachi. Not because they liked him, oh no, it was only because they wanted to see their number two heathen dead and Sasuke was more than happy to take up the task.

* * *

 

Naruko was speaking to Ino, Anko, Ayame, and Tenten, who had recently joined the others as her top Sisters, sometimes affectionately called Aunts by the other Sisters to distinguish them from the rest. Tsunade, Shizune, and Temari were included in that group, but Temari was in Suna, and Tsunade and Shizune already knew about her training trip with Jiraiya, which was what this meeting was about.

 

Ino shook her head firmly, "You can't! First of all, he's a heathen! People will lose respect if you travel with a heathen! Second, the Sisterhood _needs_ you! You're our Great Mother! What are we supposed to do without you?"

 

Naruko smiled gently, "You do as we've been doing, enlighten. As for Jiraiya..." she grinned widely, "Apparently seeing me kick Itachi, Kisame, and Orochimaru's asses in the name of the Sisterhood, and Tsunade joining us made him decide that perhaps he should rethink his peeking. Or at the very least find some way for it to not be blasphemy. Just imagine how it would boost the Sisterhood if I could get Jiraiya, the **super pervert** , to repent. No Ino, this is not a disaster in the making, it's an opportunity. Especially since the traveling will allow me to spread the words of the Sisterhood. That's not even mentioning how much of an opportunity for my Kunoichi career this is. Even that is a good thing for the Sisterhood. If I, who you people named Great Mother, became an incredibly successful Kunoichi, that will boost the Sisterhood as well."

 

Anko huffed, "I don't like it, but she's right. This is a fantastic opportunity. Though you'll need to speak to the Sisterhood, and explain all this. If you don't properly explain, they may feel your betraying the values of the Sisterhood by learning from one of the biggest perverts ever."

 

Naruko nodded, "I was already planning on it. Speaking of which, can one of you spread the word of an emergency meeting for tonight. Ero-Ikyōto left me practically no time to get my affairs in order. He told me we're leaving tomorrow."

 

Tenten and Ayame both nodded, then Ayame spoke, "We'll make sure people are there."

 

Ino wiped her teary eyes, "Anything else?"

 

Naruko stared to shake her head, then sighed, "Uchiha. I don't like him anymore than the rest of you, but do your best to make sure he continues to receive training. It'll be worth putting up with him if he kills that blasphemous heathen."

  
Anko scowled briefly, then nodded, "Ya, alright. If he gets rid of that disgusting abomination then I guess we'll just have to put up with him for now."

* * *

Naruko paused at the gate, looking back at her home for the last time for the foreseeable future. She was going to miss it, and the friends she'd made, but there was work to do.This really was a valuable opportunity to spread the teachings of the Sisterhood, to strengthen their reputation by making the perverted heathen repent, and also grow stronger herself. Turning her back, she hurries to catch up with her new Sensei and work in progress. She doesn't look back again.


End file.
